Ooops! I miss her tho..

as seen on Gaia Online Art

Back then I was still runnin' wild and came across a reason to smile. I was always on her mind and never knew because I was blind. I was blinded by the self hate I had learned from the abuse. My eyes were swollen closed but not black or blue or touched. she was right there.. when I need her or not. Everything I asked.. the answer was in My favor.. she was cute.. yet pretty damaged and looked at Me I was her savior.. I could have saved her.. But I replaced her. Listening to the jealous remarks of My cousins neighbors. Blind to the fact that not matter the weather.. or whatever.. not obstacle would let her.. miss a change to get next to.. Me. Even dedicated back to back chapters in her journal 3. The brown hair, freckles, smile, light skin ain't mean shit... it was nice but what stood out was her obedience.


Shoulda been in Love but nah.. I had plans.. didn't give a fuck enough about broads to be their Man. That's why it felt so awkward when she held My hand and looked Me in the eyes as if she was sayin' "I'm yours too command". I held her to My chest one day.. but only because I was bored in the house while it rained. Them bitches beat her ass and tore up her book she ran away.. I replaced her with a bitch that didn't last a day.. Randomly while I was patrollin' the jects, around the way.. I stepped on a book and My name was on the page. I picked it up and viewed it for many days. It was too late but I had then snapped out of the days. I looked for her for years.. I was crazed.. I even prayed.. Them bitches was like fuck her.. I would get enraged.

I keep seeing her and shit aint like how it used to be... she not really there just her essence that was glued to Me.. I wanna be reunited with her in the worse way.. so she can show these others that My Way is not a game.. she carried out every order and command without delay.. but how can I regain.. a person.. I don't even know her real whole name. What can I say? I miss her know like a muthafucka for real.. If i could rewind back to that time she'd be mine still. I did her wrong and she did everything I told her.. I treated her like shit.. all she wanted was for Me to hold her.. I pushed her away..cept for that time I carried her on My shoulders.. Ain't this a bitch.. she was the shit and I aint realize it until she became a Myth.. now all I have is the memory of her obedience.. Wish she was still around to teach the new ones old tricks.

Why We Broke Up

You coulda had it all.. My heart anyway/
Atleast that's what I thought you ain't no different babe/
you think I give a fuck about the shit you say?/
Once upon a time you were My everything but it went this way/
When We didn't have a car we ain't go far for fun/
But once I got the whip to the mall we run/
Tryin' on a million shoes not pickin out NONE/
I'm sittin' there like she think I'm dumb..that was strike One/
Back against the wall in the hallway all on Me/
I'm all over you too you was My Nasty freak/
Until you at the club with them broads every week/
Even tired after work you was hittin the street/
That's just strike two but I knew we was doomed/
You used be screamin u love Me and its Me that love you/
I ain't touchy feely but I need hugs too..
I done found Me a down one so bitch We Through/




All you wanna do is play fight...right?/
But when I defend My self here come flashin lights/
"She busted My Lip I only slapped her twice" lite/
Fuck that rough sex hype.. She too damn wild Man she ain't My type/
Atleast I thought it would be that please Me/
She callin' police plus you know where the G's be/
Seen her at the club.. and she beatin up Breezy/
I was just dancin wit her bitch take it easy/
She back in My house.. apologizin sheddin tears while she pout/
Crawled over to Me while I'm sittin on the couch/
Hands behind her back and still got it in her Mouth/
You know I had to bang it out..
too intense cuz this bitch climaxed and bust My window out/
What I need wit somebody like that?/
She don't wanna get hit wit the dick from the back/
She act like she want her head cracked wit a bat/
Woke up this bitch gone so are the DVDs and 3 stacks/
[least she aint hit the safe]




This next one got Me all suspicious.. I swear/
If she like the other bitches.. I'm outta there/
Scares Me because she seem so sweet.. Do I dare/
Plus we have fun between them sheets..Hell Yeah/
Is this too Right? or am I wrong?
Listen to the radio she play My favorite songs/
Went out with her every we seem to really get along/
In the bed I'm in charge tho she active when we get it on/
This shit the business.. but if she fuck it up I'm goin back to Pimpin/
Imma use My Powers to let the past shit pass this/
Plus look at that mile of behind all that ass is/
Damn.. plus she cook and not the fast shit/
I'm down to let this go down quick but... Hmm/
Somethin still don't seem to right..VROOM/
Tires screechin through that light..Whooo?/
That bitch got a car just like... Ooooo/
She bust in wavin' a .45 like.... Booom/
Askin who the hell I was wit last night I'm like.. yoooou
Remember We made the tape? After I got out her house I fled the state
like Wheewww
[a little too close]


I swear I love 'em Man but they just keep gettin worse

Back in Business

*Look at that envelope*

I used to make money like that on a daily basis. If you've read Mmy last recent blogs, you know My mission is to get it back like that or better. Well Guess What?! I ain't bluffin' see the proof??

Gotta be careful this time not to lose focus or get greedy. Your help would be nice. Making and Maintainin' bank is bout to be My full time job. Last time I was more focused on how I was presenting MySelf toward opportunity.. I was attempting to Dominate it.. when in actuallity all you have to do is submit yourself to the Powers of the Universe.. Let the Eternal Galactic Energy be Your Leader and everything You ask for is yours.. The key here is to pick a Role to play and Own it.. Extract yourself from what you've become to Be who you are.. or who you were suppose to be.. or somethin' like that.. what ever it take for you to get it.. as in understanding.. or enlightenment.

Let Go of Everything to Receive it ALL in abundance sooo much to the extent you have to share it. Share what you have even when all you have is nothing and pour your soul into achieving hire and grasp on to your desires. Dream, Day Dream, Fantasize.. as long as you don't lie to yourself about what you want.. The World is Yours

A bitch's Dream

*a letter I found while lookin' through a box of My old stuff*

Dear Sir,

_i have seen You glide through the shadows. Your essence setting my 'whore-moans' ablaze. _i have watched You very carefully while counting down the days. You Don the Dom Air _i wish to catch a breeze of. If _i could please have permission to admire You, _i feel unworthy at the moment. The sensations _i gain from the smallest glimpse of You. Wanting to feel Your Commands, so close to my skin, with every sentence _i feel Your spit. The way You move, the stances You choose, the Seductive Dominance You exude... forgive me but _i ooze. _i may not know You by name but _i can spot You a mile away. Hoping one day to be Disciplined in Your Way. Maybe W/we could meet.. my wish is to kneel at Your feet and have sunken into my flesh Sir, Your teeth. _i have been to a bar and saw You, at the mall too but _i'll sacrifice my soul for Your Statute to fall to. _i am Yours Sir, from here on and after Beat _me, enslave _me... but can i please call You _my Master? _i'm not shy when You're near just magnetically bound. If you have noticed a bitch standing with her head down in bow to honor Your brief existence in my path... but it is You _i wish to follow. Instruct _me, spank me, bend me to Your will. Can i have permission to love You but if You want _me to.. i shall heel. Tear filled eyes await Your reply but if You decline.. _i beg You, give this bitch writing You this permission to die. over the years _i've searched for my mission on Earth and the first time You told me not to look into Your Eyes and called me "bitch".. _i then knew it was to live up to Your worth. _i sign my entirety to You Sir, in tears and blood. grant _me, my Lord, Your Dominant Love. this _bitch wishes to be a prospect in Your slave training program.. forgive Master if it was not formal enough for Your attention.

^{i submit,
idealia/bitch}